Maybe It Was Him

This time last summer, everything was different.

The sky was blue and bright, and the sun was just perfect. It’s rays sent out a heavenly radiance from among the perfectly placed clouds. I was glowing, maybe it was the sun, maybe it was him.

But not today, no. The sky is fire and the sun is in rage, somehow not liking me as much as it did before. There were no clouds, no mercy. I was burning, maybe it was the sun, maybe it was him.

This time last summer, everything was different.

I put on my earphones and my favorite song came on. It was in his calming, husky voice, and I loved it even more. I smiled through the entire one and a half minute. I was joyful, ecstatic. Maybe it was the song, maybe it was him.

But not today, no. I put the earbuds in and put my phone on shuffle. It was a song I once loved but I dared not to listen to, in a familiar voice, it haunted me as each second passed and tore me slowly. I was miserable, shaken. Maybe it was the song, maybe it was him.

This time last summer, everything was different.

The first rain of summer, saintly weather, and an unanticipated date. He held my hand firmly, while my other palm was trying to catch as many raindrops as it could. The smell of rain was making the moment perfect, as I looked at the perfectly painted sky. I felt full, content. Maybe it was the rain, maybe it was him.

But not today, no. It was the first rain, but the skies showered harder, the rain fell more aggressively, it didn’t like me as much as before. I hesitantly held my hand out to feel the rain, but it didn’t feel quite right. The smell pinched, stung me, deep inside. I looked up at the sky but all I saw was roaring clouds. I felt scared, I felt empty. Maybe it was the rain, maybe it was him.

This time, last summer, everything was different.